Do You Also Have a Child Who Struggles to Settle at Bedtime?
"I'm not tired."
"I need a sip of water."
"Can we read one more book?"
Sound familiar? You're not alone.
For many families, bedtime is the coziest time of the day, yet it can be the biggest challenge. Even if your child seems tired, finding peace can be difficult. Some children suddenly become very silly, some run around the living room, while others have trouble letting go of the day's many impressions.
As parents of young children, we often just wish for a peaceful evening. Fortunately, a good sleep routine rarely involves doing more. On the contrary, it often involves doing less—and doing it consistently every evening.
Why Do Some Children Get "Wild" When They're Actually Tired?
It may seem a bit paradoxical.
The more tired a child becomes, the more energetic they sometimes appear to get.
But it's perfectly normal.
Many children between the ages of 2 and 6 don't yet have a fully developed nervous system and may struggle to regulate their activity levels themselves. When they've had a day full of experiences, play, daycare, sounds, and new impressions, their body can be in what's often called a high arousal level.
This doesn't mean the child is naughty or doesn't want to sleep. The body just needs help to wind down.
This is where parents play an important role. By creating calm, familiar routines, you can help your child transition from activity to rest.
Good Sleep Routines Create Security
Children love familiarity.
When the evening unfolds in a similar way every day, the child knows what's coming. This provides security, and secure children often find it easier to relax.
It doesn't have to be complicated.
A bedtime routine might look like this:
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Dinner
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Quiet play
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Bath or teeth brushing
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Pajamas
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Dimmed lighting
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A calm activity
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Storytime
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Goodnight
The most important thing is the sequence, not the timing. The best routines are often the simplest. When children know what's coming, the transition to bedtime becomes more predictable and less conflict-ridden.
Help the Body to Relax
When a child is in high arousal, simply saying, "Now be quiet," or "Lie still!" rarely helps.
The body needs to feel calm first.
There are several small games and activities that can help and become a natural part of the bedtime routine.
Burrito Game
Gently wrap your child in a blanket like a little burrito.
The firm pressure around the body can feel soothing for many children and provides a clear sense of the body.
Let your child decide if it feels good, and make it a cozy game.
Draw on the Back
Let your child lie on their tummy.
Slowly draw a sun, heart, cat, or the child's initial on their back with a finger.
Let them guess the image.
It's a gentle activity that creates closeness and helps the body slow down.
Gentle Massage
A soft massage of the back, arms, or legs with slow movements can be a lovely way to end the day.
There's no need for oil or special techniques—gentle hands and presence are often enough.
Many children also enjoy "pressure massage" games, gently pressing on shoulders, arms, and legs. You can also use a textured sensory ball to gently roll over the child's body.
Breathing Exercises
Let your child imagine blowing up a big balloon.
Or blowing a feather through the air.
Deep, calm breaths help the body slow down and can be a great transition to storytime.
Heavy Lifting
Let your child help carry a basket of plush toys, move pillows, or put books away.
Heavy, controlled movements give the body a clear sense of weight and can make it easier for some children to relax afterward.
A weighted blanket or a weighted plush toy can also be a helpful aid, providing a comforting sense of calm and security at bedtime. The gentle, even pressure is calming for many and can ease the transition from an active day to a peaceful night.
Create the Right Environment for Bedtime
Your surroundings matter more than you might think.
A calm children's room with dimmed lights can signal to the body that the day is winding down.
One of my personal favorites is small night lamps with warm, soft lighting. They create a cozy atmosphere during storytime and make the transition to darkness less abrupt.
Soft bedding in comfortable materials can also make the bed a pleasant place to be. Many children find great comfort in having a familiar teddy or comfort cloth go to bed with them every night. It becomes part of the routine and can provide a sense of familiarity—even if the child wakes up during the night.
At Lirum Larum Leg, you'll find a wide range of children's lamps, night lamps, bedding, teddy bears, and bedtime books that can help create a cozy setting for winding down. It's not about buying more things, but finding the small elements that suit your family and make the evening a little more peaceful.
Remember, Every Child Is Different
Some children fall asleep within minutes of the lights going out. Others need more time to settle after a day full of experiences.
There's no one right way to create good sleep routines.
The most important thing is that the child feels secure, present, and familiar. Small changes can make a big difference over time, and it's perfectly normal to adjust routines as the child develops.
If bedtime is challenging for a period, it doesn't mean you're doing something wrong. Children are constantly growing, and their needs change with age. Often, it's the quiet moments together—a book, a quiet chat, a warm hug, or a gentle massage—that become the times both children and adults remember best.
In the end, a good sleep routine isn't just about getting the child to sleep. It's about ending the day with peace, security, and presence—and giving both children and adults the best possible start to the night. So, tomorrow starts off better too.
12 Calm Activities to Help Your Child Wind Down
There's no one magic solution that works for all children. But many benefit from activities that help the body to sense itself and gradually slow down. Here are some activities we keep coming back to.
1. Read a Good Story Together
Storytime is one of the most effective ways to create a smooth transition from day to night. When your child listens to a story, their focus shifts from the day's many impressions to a safe moment together. At the same time, storytime enhances language skills, imagination, and the bond between child and adult.
2. Give Your Child a Big Hug
A long, calm hug can do more than you might think. This close contact provides many children with a sense of security and helps the body relax before it's time to sleep.
3. "Star Massage"
Let your child lie on their tummy and draw a star, heart, or cloud on their back with slow movements. Ask if they can guess the shape. It's a simple game that creates both laughter and relaxation.
4. Turn Off Screens in Advance
Tablets, phones, and TVs can be hard to let go of, but giving screens a rest the last hour before bedtime can be beneficial. The calm transition makes it easier for your child to switch from activity to rest.
5. Let Your Child Choose the Bedtime Story
When your child gets to choose between two books, they feel a sense of involvement. It can reduce resistance to bedtime and make the routine more positive.
6. Turn on a Night Lamp
A soft, warm light creates a cozy atmosphere in the child's room. Many children feel more secure when darkness doesn't come all at once. A small night lamp can become a regular part of the bedtime ritual.
7. Talk About the Best Parts of the Day
Ask something like:
"What was the best thing that happened today?"
It helps your child end the day with a good feeling and provides a cozy conversation between you.
8. Listen to Calm Music
Quiet music or nature sounds can help slow the pace. The music doesn't have to play all night—often, 10-15 minutes is enough to create a peaceful atmosphere.
9. Ensure a Comfortable Sleep Environment
A cool room, soft bedding, and a duvet they love to snuggle under can make a big difference. Small details often mean more than you think.
10. Include a Teddy Bear in the Routine
Many children find great comfort in a familiar teddy bear. When it accompanies the child every night, it becomes a familiar cornerstone and a natural part of bedtime.
11. Try a Gratitude Game
Shift the focus from everything your child still wants to do to all the good things the day has offered.
Take turns naming three things you're grateful for from the day. It only takes a couple of minutes but can create a calm and positive ending.
12. Remember That Presence Is More Important Than Perfection
No bedtime routines are perfect every single night. Some days it takes five minutes, other days an hour. The important thing is not whether all routines are followed to the letter but that the child senses there is time, peace, and presence.
Small Changes Can Make a Big Difference
Reading about sleep and bedtime routines can quickly make it feel like changing the entire family's lifestyle. But often, it's the small adjustments that make the biggest difference.
Maybe you'll start dimming the lights a little earlier.
Perhaps storytime lasts five minutes longer.
Maybe a little massage or a "draw on the back" game becomes a permanent part of the evening.
The key is not to make everything perfect overnight. Give routines time to become a natural part of everyday life. Many children need repetition before feeling fully secure in a new rhythm.
Create a Child's Room That Invites Calm
The child's room is much more than a place to sleep. It's a sanctuary where there must be room for play, imagination, and relaxation.
As the day winds down, minor changes can signal that it's nearly time to sleep. Dim the lights, tidy away the most active toys, and let calming activities fill the final part of the evening.
At Lirum Larum Leg, we have handpicked products that naturally fit into cozy evening routines. Soft junior bedding sets, cute teddies, dimmable children's lamps, night lamps, and bedtime books are not the solution in themselves—but they can help create the comfortable surroundings that make it easier for your child to find peace.
A Loving End to the Day
I think most parents know the feeling of being a bit tired when the evening finally approaches. That's why bedtime can easily become about "reaching the finish line." But maybe it's worth seeing it another way.
For the ten or twenty minutes you spend reading a book, giving hugs, or whispering about the day's experiences, are also the minutes when your child feels safe, loved, and seen.
There will always be evenings when nothing goes as planned. When the child is restless, leaves the bed again, or suddenly has thousands of questions about life. This is completely normal.
A good sleep routine isn't about perfection. It's about presence, familiarity, and slowly helping your child from an active day to a peaceful night.
If just one idea from this post can make your bedtime a little cozier, then it has been worth it.
4 Common Mistakes Many Parents Make at Bedtime—Without Knowing It
Even with the best intentions, small habits can sometimes make it harder for a child to relax. Fortunately, simple adjustments can often make a significant difference.
- Too Many Choices Right Before Bedtime. "Do you want to read one more book?" or "Which pajamas do you want to wear?" may seem harmless, but too many choices late in the evening can make it harder for a child to let go of the day. Save most choices for earlier.
- An Overly High Activity Level in the Last Half Hour. Exciting play, roughhousing, or screen time can make it harder for the body to calm down. Opt for quieter activities like storytime, puzzles, or a gentle drawing game instead.
- Irregular Bedtime Routines. Children thrive on familiarity. When routines vary significantly from day to day, it can be harder for a child to understand that it's time to sleep.
- Too Much Light or Screen Time Late in the Evening. Bright lights and screens can make it more challenging to create a calm transition to nighttime. Dim the lighting in the last hour before bed, and create a cozy atmosphere with a night lamp or a children’s lamp with warm light.
FAQ
What is a Good Sleep Routine for Children?
A good sleep routine consists of calm and familiar activities repeated each night. Examples include teeth brushing, pajamas, dimmed lighting, storytime, and goodnight.
Why Does My Child Get Wild Right Before Bed?
Many children experience high activity levels in the evening, even when tired. This can be due to the nervous system still being affected by the day's many impressions and needing help to settle down.
What Does High Arousal Mean in Children?
High arousal describes a state where the child is very activated and struggles to regulate their activity level. Calm routines, presence, and sensory-stimulating activities can help the child find peace.
Which Activities Help a Child Relax?
Storytime, massage, breathing exercises, gentle conversations, "draw on the back" games, and dimmed lighting are examples of activities that can help many children wind down.
Does Massage Help Before Bedtime?
Gentle massages are experienced by many children as relaxing and can be a cozy part of the bedtime routine. The most important thing is that the child finds it pleasant.
How Long Does It Take to Establish a New Sleep Routine?
It varies from child to child. Many families find that a set routine becomes easier to follow after a few weeks of repetition.
Should Children Sleep with a Teddy?
Many children find comfort in a familiar teddy bear, which becomes part of the bedtime routine. It can provide familiarity and make the transition to sleep easier.
Does a Night Lamp Help at Bedtime?
A soft and warm light can make the transition into darkness more comforting for some children and create a calm atmosphere in the room.
Why Is Storytime Beneficial Before Bedtime?
Storytime fosters closeness, stimulates language, and offers the child an opportunity to relax through a calm and familiar activity.
When Should a Regular Bedtime Routine Begin?
Many families benefit from regular evening routines from the early years. The routines can be adjusted according to the child's age and development.
